Abandon Hope

I put this on my Dad's Caring Bridge web journal, but I probably should have just put it here. It is something that can be easily misinterpreted and misunderstood.

This was my entry:

I told Dad yesterday to "Abandon Hope." Stop thinking that things can or should be any different than they are in the present moment. Thinking things should be different than they are causes restlessness and suffering. I know it seems like kind of a radical way of thinking, since it doesn't seem appropriate to give up hope, but if you really think about it, it makes sense when you apply it to each moment of time, moment to moment.

Here is an excerpt from the book that taught me this, "When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times" by Pema Chodron:

"Hope and fear come from feeling that we lack something; they come from a sense of poverty. We can't simply relax with ourselves... We feel that someone else knows what is going on, but that there's something missing in us, and therefore something is lacking in our world.

"Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look. That's the compassionate thing to do. That's the brave thing to do...

"We can explore the nature of that piece of shit... We can drop the fundamental hope that there is a better "me" who one day will emerge... Then some kind of confidence in our basic sanity arises.

"Giving up hope is encouragement to stick with yourself, to make friends with yourself, to not run away from yourself, to return to the bare bones, no matter what is going on. Fear of death is the background of the whole thing. It's why we feel restless, why we panic, why there's anxiety. But if we totally experience hopelessness, giving up all hope of alternatives to the present moment, we can have a joyful relationship with our lives, an honest, direct relationship, one that no longer ignores the reality of impermanence and death."