There is No Spoon

Once in a while I have the good fortune to be in just the right state of mind and just the right state of kamma (or karma) and in just the right condition to hear just the right Dhamma (Buddhist teachings) talk to jolt me further forward in my goal to see things clearly and become free from stress.

The topic of the evening was actually wisdom and compassion. Wisdom is seeing things clearly, just as they are. It is not intellectual and it is not based on past experience. It is intuitive. It is free from delusion and free from self. This teaching of "anatta" or no-self is what really stood out for me last night. There is no "me" that is ever threatened by losing pleasure or experiencing pain. "I" am just a formation of conditions that are arising and will eventually pass away. Wisdom leads naturally to compassion, the desire for all beings to see clearly the truth of impermanence.

I have often heard and read about the teaching of anatta but it is a difficult topic to grasp and it takes a skilled teacher to explain it well. Last night I had the honor of hearing this teaching from such a teacher and as I listened I saw the particles of The Matrix in my mind and heard the words "There is no spoon." And I really understood it and experienced it at that moment. Not so sure I do at THIS moment now, but it is a good thing to continue to contemplate and pay attention to. It seems to me that The Matrix is the best reference I have to this teaching actually. The movie demonstrates this teaching very well. As I move through the day today, I feel like I can see all the atoms all around me, making up the buildings and the people, and the trees. I feel the blips of energy happening in my brain and my heart beating and my lungs breathing. We and everything around us is just a bunch of parts in relationship together in space.

This is really difficult because then what is that mind that knows? What is the soul? What is our purpose? Does having no self mean that I am pointless? Intuitively, I know that there is a purpose and that having "no self" doesn't mean checking out, but it is difficult to explain this intellectually. Here is my attempt to explain my own experience.

If there is no "me," there is nothing to gain and nothing to lose. There is nothing to protect. There is nothing to fear. My purpose is to be happy and to help others to see clearly so they can be happy too. No matter what I do or become in the world, if I remember there is nothing to me, it is impossible to become attached to those things I do, have or become. There is nothing to me because what I am now is transient. I could make a list of all the traits that make up me and what others identify me as in relationship to themselves, but none of those could be considered permanent in any way. None. There is no part of me that is permanent. Every moment I am de-constructed and re-constructed. I can participate fully in my life with this understanding and live happily and stress-free. There is nothing to gain and nothing to lose. There is nothing I have to do or be. I do and be as my life and its conditions shape me. I give myself the best conditions for growth as I can and then let go. Some would call this "Letting go and letting God."

Those of us who are not enlightened and probably will not be fully enlightened in this life, cannot help but to continue on after death. The energy to become is very strong. If we wanted to talk about a soul, that would be it. It is the energy to do and be. That energy continues even after death and Buddhists call this reincarnation. That energy finds another body in which to do and be. On the other hand, a fully enlightened being like the Buddha does not have the urge to continue on after death. The candle is extinguished. But even the Buddha when questioned about what happens to enlightened beings when they die was very vague and paradoxical. Does an enlightened being cease to exist or continue to exist or both or neither and the Buddha answered no to all. I won't even go there.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to Ajahn Punnadhammo from Arrow River Forest Hermitage for the anatta teaching. I am one step closer to knowing.

Download Ajahn Punnadhammo's talk on 12/16/07: http://commonground.dreamhosters.com/aud/GD_12-16-07_Wisdom_and_Kindness_Ajahn_Punnadhammo.mp3