No Good News Stories

I've been following an online support group for those choosing to stay with their BP partners. I guess if they were having a good time, they wouldn't need a support group, so possibly the good news stories simply aren't going to come up on that list.

But I can't help but think there really are very few, if any, happy endings in those relationships. Even a friend of mine worked with her BPH for a good five years. Once he really started to show improvement, it was he that asked her for a divorce.

One other thing I had an insight about the other day is that my H always accused me of being too "soft" with the kids. Well if that was true, guess who else I was too soft with?? I really think there was an unconscious part of him that was starting to disrespect me for putting up with all his bad behavior.

I really am not soft. I am gentle and firm. It may look soft in appearance, but there is power behind it. There is power in me. There is wisdom in me. There is compassion in me.

"Even when we take very strong steps to keep someone from acting as harmfully as they may be acting, we do this, to the best of our ability, without rancor or contempt."

Sharon Salzberg
The Force of Kindness