Transformation of Desire

I picked up a book about tantra.  It is called Introduction to Tantra: The Transformation of Desire by Lama Yeshe.

Transformation of desire.  That is why I bought the book.  Transformation.  Taking this desire that is a natural part of being alive and transforming it.  Using it for a higher purpose.  I like that idea.

There is no getting rid of desire as far as I can tell.  Desire is.  We desire food, sleep, shelter, warmth in winter, cool in summer, sex, love, companionship, connection, knowledge, respect, and on and on.  Everything we do is motivated by desire!  Everything!

Pleasurable experiences are to be enjoyed and appreciated, yet not clung to.  That is a key aspect of tantra.  In order not to cling, one has to have mindfulness.  One needs to be able to notice when a clinging state arises and have skill in order to abandon that clinging.  There needs to be space around the pleasurable experience - the pleasantness is experienced fully yet with a sort of openness.  An openness that allows the pleasant experience to change when it inevitably does.  Space around pleasant and unpleasant sensations as they move through our experience.

The mindfulness meditation practice I have done for the past 6 years has helped me find that space.  Not always, but more and more.  I still have plenty of clinging and suffering because of that clinging - but it doesn't escape my consciousness quite so much.  Ah suffering, there you are!  My old friend.

But in my practice I see that I have tended to be a little too austere.  Perhaps it's the old Catholic conditioning or just the conditioning of society that gives me the sense that misery is good and pleasure is bad.  It is time for me to take the resolution of that old Catholic guilt a step further.  I think it is time for me to invite more pleasantness into my life.

The other aspect of tantra that interests me is wholeness.  Each and every person has both male and female energy.  We are each of us complete and whole on our own.  It is only a matter of recognizing this in ourselves.

I aspire to be one of those that experiences this truth.  I aspire to be completely happy and satisfied here and now, all on my own.