Til I Get It Right

I don’t expect an intimate relationship to make me happy BUT I don’t expect it to weigh me down and be a source of misery either. I don’t expect a relationship to be the primary source of my life’s happiness or misery.

I expect an intimate relationship to be icing on the cake of my wholeness and inner happiness. A source of comfort, pleasure, challenge, learning. I do not seek in someone else a source of happiness or permanent stability, but I do seek someone to share my own existing happiness and stability with. I do seek someone who can reflect back to me my goodness so I am reminded of my beauty as well as reflect back to me my faults so I can learn.

I know I can take care of myself. But it would be nice to know that there is someone special who cares about me and maybe brings me some chicken noodle soup when I am sick. And I enjoy being able to care for another and see them benefit from my love and care. But caring for each other is not the primary focus of a relationship for me. I should care for myself and others just as well as I care for an intimate partner.

I must come back to the definition of love that M. Scott Peck gives in his book The Road Less Travelled, which essentially says that to love another is to have an interest in their spiritual growth. That is the focus my love relationship should have.

So what about just living my life on my own and being happy? I can and I could. But it would be nice to have a primary person to share my life with, a best friend. Someone to snuggle with. Someone who knows me. I really miss those things about being in a love relationship.

And I can’t help this mate searching – looking at every man that catches my interest wondering if he could be compatible with me. I’d rather stop wondering and just do something about it. The hope that there is a great love relationship waiting for me yet cannot be defeated. That hope is fully alive in me. It is time to reach out and see what I can find.

“I’ll just keep on falling in love ‘til I get it right.” – Trisha Yearwood song